Lonely Over the Holidays? Experts Weigh in on How to Deal With It

The holiday season is often a time of gatherings: work parties, family celebrations, get-togethers with old friends. But it can also exacerbate feelings of loneliness that are already on the rise in countries around the world. As many as 14% of people in some countries now report feeling lonely most or all of the time amid a years-long decline in the frequency of in-person interactions with friends and family, according to the 2025 Social Connections and Loneliness report from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). In the U.S., the American Psychological Association (APA) has found that half of adults report signs of loneliness, including emotional disconnection and isolation. And those feelings can grow all the stronger during the holidays due to distance from family, strained relationships, or the absence of them, experts tell TIME. “The holidays can be a particularly challenging time of year because we may have expectations about what the world should be like, and if the world’s not measuring up to us and whatever our expectations are, that exacerbates then that feeling of loneliness,” says Dr. Lynn Bufka, the APA’s head of practice. Here’s what experts say about the rise in loneliness around the year’s festive peak, and what can be done to mitigate it. Why the holidays can heighten loneliness Loneliness can be viewed as catch-all for a range of emotional states often linked to depression and anxiety. It can be chronic, but especially heightened by the holidays, when people are more likely to become acutely aware of their loneliness.  “It’s important to distinguish between alone-ness and loneliness. Loneliness can happen even when you’re with other people,” Bufka tells TIME, adding that “not feeling connected to others, not feeling seen or heard, or that others might understand you” can pervade despite constant socialization around the holidays. Bufka adds that loneliness is often a predisposition that the holidays only augment, but that the holidays can also be the main source of loneliness for some people.  “It seems very possible that it could be: loneliness is present––aspects of holidays exacerbated. I think it’s also very possible that expectations around the holidays and seeing others or believing that others are having these wonderful, warm experiences, then exacerbates the sense that ‘I feel more lonely and disconnected from others.’ So it really could go both ways.” This year, roughly 14 million Americans will spend Christmas alone, with almost half due to conflict with family or being far away from them, mental health provider A Mission for Michael (AMFM) reports. People who are not married or live alone have been shown to report increased levels of loneliness around the holidays, says Jillian Kornmeier, executive director of the Foundation for Social Connection.  She also notes that reports of loneliness are higher amongst those who do not have religious affiliations, which often provide outlets for connection through celebrations related to Hanukkah and Christmas.  “If you aren’t going to a place of worship or getting together with your club or group during the holidays that might be celebrating something, I think that also can lead to a lot of disconnection in communities,” she says.  Other factors can play a role as well: People facing financial stress, such as those who are unemployed or have low incomes, are typically far more likely to experience loneliness, Kornmeier notes. Richard Weissbourd, a senior lecturer at Harvard University who has studied loneliness and social connection, highlights to TIME that the holidays also exacerbate what he called “existential loneliness,” as well as feelings of low self worth and value, both of which aren’t necessarily fixed through social connection. “Loneliness is commonly defined as a gap between the relationships you want and the relationships you have. But I don’t think it’s one emotional experience. I think some people feel existential loneliness. They just feel alone in the world,” Weissbourd explains “I think that’s very different than a young person who is not getting as many likes on social media and compared to their friends and is feeling loneliness.” Ways to combat loneliness Jeremy Nobel, the author of Project UnLonely and a professor at Harvard, tells TIME that there are different kinds of loneliness one might feel around the holidays, and that each type requires different remedies. Psychological loneliness is the most common, he says, as it stems from a lack of connection with others—something especially highlighted during holiday celebrations.  The solutions to this type of loneliness are the simplest, according to Nobel: seeking outlets for social connection; finding people who you can confide in; joining a book club or groups that have shared interests. He says these are some examples which have been shown to reduce such feelings.  “Go to volunteer in a soup kitchen or to help out a neonatal unit or whatever it is,” Weissbourd suggests as a remedy for this kind of loneliness, “because it’s a form of social connection, but it’s also mattering and feeling useful”—which he explains can mitigate feelings of isolation and low self-worth. Addressing the “interplay of these things” can be extremely helpful in counteracting feelings of loneliness, he says.  Weissbourd acknowledges that many suggested remedies are temporary and have inherent limitations, but that making plans for next year and attempting to repair broken relationships might provide more long term benefits.  For existential or spiritual loneliness, Nobel says that interacting with the arts is an underrated but extremely effective way of eliminating the feelings.  “I think the arts are the ones that people are least aware of and have the most potential benefit,” he tells TIME, adding that interacting with the arts, whether it be film, literature, or painting, “elevates you to feel differently about the world in some very positive way and more connected to other people through shared human experience.” The therapeutic benefit might allow individuals to “use the arts to explore spiritual loneliness,” Nobel says, which he asserts is “the basis of the arts for centuries, if not longer.” He also recommends being in nature, something he acknowledges some might find “goofy,” but that he says really helps in the same ways that the arts do. Finding “calm, beautiful spaces” like a beach or an arboretum, he says, can make individuals feel connected to something that is bigger than the isolation they feel.  Bufka adds that reducing time on your phone can in turn reduce feelings of anxiety and loneliness, which often stem from exposure to social media and what others are doing around the holidays.  The experts who spoke with TIME emphasize a paradox about loneliness: that it is a universally felt experience––if not inevitable––but that those who experience it commonly feel discouraged to share their experiences with others.  “[Loneliness] is a biologic signal that we need human connection,” Nobel says. “And if we can start seeing loneliness as a signal, we can respond to it without feeling so guilty and ashamed about it.”