The Silver Lining of Dating in a Recession

A client recently lamented, “I can’t do these wine bar dates anymore! It’s $20 for just one drink with tip. I could get at least two bottles of wine at Trader Joe’s for that.” Similarly, a couple I work with is trying to bring intimacy back into their relationship, so they want to have more date nights but also stay within their monthly budget. Another client shared that he wanted to attend a speed dating event in his city but needed to hold off until next month to make that work financially.

These are the stories I’m hearing more and more as people navigate their love lives while feeling financial insecurity, let alone a potential recession. As people think about how to cut back on their general expenses, regardless of whether they’re single or partnered, it’s clear that the economy has a massive effect on the ways we date, too.

The classic date night, consisting of an evening out on the town with dinner, drinks, seeing a movie or show, or enjoying a shared activity, is more expensive than it has been in the past. According to the 2025 BMO Real Financial Progress Index, the average American spends $2,279 on dates in a year—about $168 per date. Compare that to the cost of a date consisting of dinner and a movie for two in 2007, before the last recession, which was $73 ($85.72 when adjusted for inflation). In an economic downturn, the costs associated with our current standard of going out may become just too high for some.

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What’s more, a recession in 2025 will likely not include the same access to social safety nets, given the Trump administration’s many cuts to national aid such as housing, food, and health, that helped those who lost their houses and jobs in the Great Recession. We’re in such a different position now than we were then, making recession-related anxieties feel heightened.

Then, there’s the societal pressure to spend money on dates as a sign of financial security and responsibility. This expectation is exemplified by the 2023 viral subreddit post in which a man named Vance shared his message exchange with a woman who refused to go for ice cream with him on a hot day as their first date. She stated that an ice cream date would be the “absolute bare minimum” for her and that it would be a waste of both of their time. The frenzy of comments included observations that inexpensive first dates can be read as unserious or lacking in effort. Another viral video featuring a woman rejecting a man because he took her to The Cheesecake Factory on their first date made the rounds that very year, too. Her critique was that she deserved better than to be taken to a chain restaurant.

But what will happen when things are financially way tougher for everyone? Will people be more open and accept that a simple, inexpensive date isn’t the sign of low effort but rather a reflection of the economy none of us asked for?

If the past is any indicator of what dating might look like in the future, then the answer is yes. In 2009, The New York Times asked readers to weigh in on how their dating lives had changed due to the recession. This piece highlighted that activity on dating sites actually increased during the recession, bucking the assumption that people would just choose not to date when times are hard financially. The mostly male commenters shared that they were opting out of taking dates to trendy spots in favor of more budget-friendly options. Others shared that they made cocktails at home for date nights with their partner and saved up for an occasional night out. One commenter suggested finding cheap or free events to attend, which aligns with thoughts shared on a 2018 Reddit post from a user who asked what dating was like in the recession. Respondents to this post reflected that they had a lot of park dates and took advantage of restaurants that offered special deals.

A common thread between people who dated through the last recession was a sense that, because the world felt unstable, they wanted to find a solid partnership even more. Most daters noted that their dates understood the need for frugality, and in some cases, it fueled more creative dates. Sure, dating apps weren’t as ubiquitous then, and people shared that house parties brought people together in ways that we haven’t really seen since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. But with changing economic needs, we may see a shift away from dating app subscriptions in favor of more free, in-person events. Despite all its uncertainties, a recession could bring back some of the more collective (and cost-efficient) ways we used to gather and meet each other.

There are already calls to bring back parties, and people are on the hunt for inexpensive ways to spend quality time together. A recent “Sit Club” event in San Francisco, for example, was organized as a way for people to gather without the pretense of running or the expense of buying running gear. We may see more free events like this that bring people together just for a good time.

Perhaps the silver lining of recession dating is that dates get stripped down to the essentials, making them more about connection and quality time and less about going to “the best” places and trying to impress others with how much we spend. Though financial insecurity causes incredible stress, one hope is that, inadvertently, it redefines what fulfilling and romantic connections look like in the future.