What Can We Learn from Death in the Age of Longevity?

If you’re an investor, it’s a good time to be long on longevity. The longevity economy is projected to be worth $27 trillion by 2030.  Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are all in, investing in anti-aging research, biotechnology, and cryogenics. World leaders are in too. In September, a hot mic captured Russia’s Vladimir Putin saying to China’s Xi Jinping that “In a few years, with the development of biotechnology, human organs can be constantly transplanted so that people can live younger and younger, and even become immortal.” To which Xi replied that “the prediction is that in this century humans may live to 150 years old. Longevity is great—of course, we should use all the technology at our disposal to extend our healthspan as long as we can. But spoiler alert: we’re all going to die. And the danger of chasing the false promise of immortality is that we lose access to the very real and tangible lessons of mortality. Death is one of the most powerful tools we have to help us navigate life. What the end of life can teach us Joanna Ebenstein, author of Memento Mori: The Art of Contemplating Death to Live a Better Life, sums up what death has to teach us: “The mystery of death has, for millennia, led us to ask the big, existential questions: Why are we here? What is the meaning of life?” And yet, in our modern world, we’ve consigned death to the world of medicine and machines. The reality of death has remained constant, but we’ve lost our connection to its meaning. As we cordoned off death from our lives, we’ve also detached ourselves from the big questions. What is a good life? Who are we? Why are we here? Death is life’s forcing mechanism. It can drive self-exploration, clarify our values, and help us find meaning.  Death doula Alua Arthur founded her company to help those at the end of life. But her work with the dying has transformed how she lives her own life. “When I am thinking about my death, I can see very clearly who I want to be, how I want to spend my time, what I want to leave behind, and what I value,” she says.   And Australian author Bronnie Ware spent years working in palliative care, the most common regret she encountered was that people wished they’d had the courage to live authentically, and not the life others expected of them. “It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way,” she writes.  Research on those at the end of life shows that our values change as death approaches. At the end, we don’t crave more status or more things, but more connection. A study on terminally ill patients found that common reflections include concern for loved ones, gratitude, and spirituality. Another found that the most commonly discussed topics included accepting one’s imperfections, celebrating and appreciating what you have, giving, and service to others. And a study of hospice patients found that they showed “the desire to grow and change at this critical time.” If hospice patients can grow and change at the end of life, why not grow and change now? The reflections of those at the end of life aren’t just for themselves. They want others to get the benefits of their insights. A study on hospice patients found that “a common exhortation to young people to avoid focusing too much on acquisition and the internet and to prioritize instead social connection and engagement with the natural world.”  Near-death experiences Lessons can also come from those who go to the other side of the in-between and come back from near-death experiences, or NDEs. It’s a way of absorbing what death has to offer while there are often many years of life to put it to use. And yet, strangely, we spend so much of our limited time on earth “killing time,” escaping from the moment with screens and scrolling.  “It’s like we’re throwing away food, knowing that eventually you’re going to be starving,” writes Sebastian Junger, author of In My Time of Dying. Craig Lundahl, professor of sociology at Western New Mexico University, writes that for most people who survive NDEs, “the idea of life after death became not merely highly probable, but a veritable certainty.” In a recent New York Times interview, Chloe Zhao, the Oscar-nominated director of “Hamnet,” explained why she’s becoming a death doula, having recently completed her first stage of training. “I have been terrified of death my whole life,” she said. “And because I’ve been so afraid, I haven’t been able to live fully.”  She goes on to note the line in “Hamlet” that all living things die, “passing through nature to eternity.”  It is a surprising, but important, lesson to learn: bringing death into our lives is what paradoxically allows us to live more fully.   We don’t need to defeat death to live well. Death is not a glitch, but a clarifier. Remembering that we’re all in the in-between and that our time is limited can fill that time with meaning, purpose, and connection. The wisdom we seek at the end of life is available to us now.